If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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