Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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