I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
