WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You just made me feel so damn special
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
