shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize