Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He passed out mid-signature
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize