The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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