if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
