I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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