So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
there is glitter all over my balls
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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