you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
