no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize