life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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