I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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