This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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