Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
