you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
