So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize