a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
