Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
