Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
