Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
