There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
