I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can you bring me the toilet please
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
