My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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