if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
