elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
