Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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