so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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