Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize