Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
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