So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
