dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
