The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
