I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
