help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
