I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
