i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
