We named our party play list daddy issues
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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