Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
one might say we're banned from that church
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
