I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
