"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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