i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This is the high leading the old right now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
