Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
