Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
