mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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