there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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