Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
