Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
