he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
