is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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