North Korea, Best Korea!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
