Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
