Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
