HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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