Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
