This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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