it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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