its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
