dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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