I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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