i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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