doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
