okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
