so explain again why im purple
no
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
