do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
