I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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