Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize