Got a toothbrush?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
